Within the flicker of the light

I too flash, from dark to light

Within the darkness I am me

Within the light, yours truly

Between the leaves I have fallen

And within your legs I forget

I stare to the stars

And practice, loneliness

I stare to the edge of the paper

And revel in the reckless and forgotten

My season of hell is here

Breaking of the senses

Feeble attempts at connecting have

Wounded me

With my shirt torn

Chest aimed toward the sun

I will spread within the earth

And break upon a pile of stone

Raising my fists and clenching

As the heat rises

Within me

Ill torch the constraints of my mind

And burn

Into Heaven

From Reflections

In a place of some silent disposition

I was all alone cept the fumbling

And when they came the ignorance had broken

The block always had me by the neck

So familiar those greasy palms

Lapping past my brow

Reconciling my thoughts with the surroundings

Just give me more time

 

I wandered

So long the stained skies leached the happiness

Above and beyond the steel horizons

Clunky sounds of desperation be settled me

The puppets strings were always weary

Swallowing myself in timeless associations

Eyes that only see cannot faithfully believe

A smile grinds into positions

The shadowy shape of its former

The heart buckled and blurted

 

My chest expanded and contracted so firmly

I could feel the forehead crease at

The exaggerated awakening of my sight

Trembling and spitting fine threads of paste

An emotional paradox of motionless dribble

The stagnant manifestations of perpetual memories disintegrated

As effortlessly as they fore came

I need more time

 

I wandered

Waiting for the flesh to dissipate the illusion

Stumbling upon the endless plane

Beneath the masquerade lie

Eloquent fusions of

Trees that hang in time

Their expression’s lap the sinister songs of intricate nothing

Scars upon the land withheld tales too old to tell

Torrential blanket hymns lathered the spent foliage

The clock parted

Revealing a fashionable show like thunder

From which way a vibratory feast of dynamic origins

Like hair on beast

A complex framework of some certain uncertainty

Motion like the serpents seductive sway

The oceans flight then untimely closure upon an abrupt earth

A baptism of sound

 

I was again accompanied by the darkness

Comforted by the silence

 

I wandered

Remembering you gliding upon the earth

That passive materialisation

As you embalmed the fabrics of existence

With your vertiginous aromas

Collapsing the senses yet

Engineering the soul

You spoke of doctored perceptions and factory farms

Regurgitating an experimental madness

Sentimental whorehouse emotions spilled so progressively

Yet it was those eyes

They fixated upon the deceptively frail fear

Behind the colour a darkened corridor

Inside I found myself astray

Absorbed by this sorbent life force that embellished your presence

With a light that diminished far beyond us

Perhaps this inception

This reflective illusion

Was beyond us too

 

For the last time these dry lips parted

That final smile

An elongate showcase of cracks and calcium

Try to forget that I ever even knew

The world it simply dissembled

A blurred paste of palettes and potentials

All the things that I use to see

Dissolution of events that plunged into the abyss

Folding and collapsing around me

In a time that once existed

Everything is so dull

Even my heart struggles

For a moment, afloat

Now grounded,

Beneath the floor

I dream in colour

And live in grey

Happiness is so neutral

Another day another grind

Distance in my words

And the shapes I make

How can I live

Or die like this

We can be so fragile when we laugh

We cry with the intensity of a moonlit sea

We dream a long dark dream

Bleeding has a certain honesty

 

We sing with air and muffled breath

And dance on a nightingale floor

We grow with a sense of certainty

We die with just a little bit more

 

Tempted by the fruit of desire

Our breaths are narrow and fused

We moan in measured clicks

The land haunts of something used

 

When we lived the world did the talking

When we died we stopped listening

Its all too obvious all too soon

Time has commenced its blistering

 

Aching is much too constant

Droning through the days 

This smile is wrapped in flames

May it set the earth ablaze

 

 

 

I was in the woods

The noise did little to break the silence

Forgetting how peaceful it all is

I allowed my mind to wander

I orientated through the past

Collecting memories as time lapsed

A child obsessed with war

Stalking and pretending, playing and forgetting

Nothing was beyond or before

The chain of time, tight or loose

How innocent my thoughts must have been

How eager I was to play and imitate and create

You question when such a moment ends

You question if it ever did

Would I have perceived now in quite the same way

To exist lacked any sense of implication

I was inside flowing outside and the walls were down

Solid Snake was my hero, he was tough and brave. Sacrifice came easy and the blistering cold of Alaska did little to shunt his spirits. I longed to sacrifice myself in much the same way and with that I took all kinds of worldly risks. For hours I would imitate stealth exercises in the backyard of our house, climbing on the roof and tactically crawling along the floor on my stomach. I wanted to be just like him, his world was the world I wanted to be in. I cannot help but question my current reality in much the same way, not that at once I desire to imitate any such person but to imitate a different reality, one that aligns more with the self. Ego and desire spring to life when I start to question the basis of where I am versus where I could be.

 

 

 

Regurgitation Theory

Silence and all is at once golden

I feel from the rooftop of the monastery

and clipped the monk with the bronze robe on the way down

He uttered something that I’ve made sure to never forget

“Laughter is the fruit of labour and silence the mask of life”

The sun rips through your flesh on its way back home

and speaks to you in the softest of voices

You can almost imagine a blistering night where the wind howls

Long and lonely and it spins through the fields

Caressing your ears and plastering your face in ice

Please all of you at once and be selfish

Let your juices flow from nothing to something

Fornicate in desire and feed your senses

Indulge in all that this envelope life has to provide

Health is for the wicked let the ego grow

 

 

Oh really

Well here I am, this is my ploy to beat the lonesome blues. You really know your in trouble when your googling how to make friends and to enjoy your alone or “special” time.

Well that’s not all true, I guess I’m just chasing something that might teach me a little bit more about myself and perhaps entertain a few people along the way.

WikiHow did send me to this site, no I’m not willing to share my search input that brought me from there to here haha. 

Good Night